His Garden of Grace
December Daily- And Know
Be Still and Know that I Am. God.
Yes, I put that period there. It is a little different, but I like it there. I know I am taking liberties here, but indulge me for a minute.
I put it there to remind me that He Is. The one who is the Great I AM from the Old Testament is IMMANUEL- God with us, from the New. And this season, I need reminding of that. I need to remember that He Is. AND that He is With Me.
I sometimes have a hard time trusting. Believing, even that He exists. Even after all He has done for me, and even though I know the Word of God is full of real stories that really happened to real people just like me, I still, sometimes randomly, am tempted to doubt. Sometimes I wonder if I really can trust. If I really can believe.
It is in those moments that I have to stand on the truth that I know, and repeat Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is assurance of things hoped for, a conviction of things not seen."
And that is where the Knowing comes in. I know God. I know His hand. I know what He has done personally in my life. I know His voice. So even if the devil tempts me to doubt, I have walked with God long enough to know "this too shall pass". I just have to dig in, stand strong, and trust. That God is. That God is with me. And before long, it passes, and we move forward again.
Sometimes I think this is a lack of faith, and want to get all introspective. And sometimes I think it is God pulling back, so that I have to lean in more. Sometimes I think it is just emotional junk that I have to work through. And other times I think I am PMS-ing! I know it sounds like I doubt a lot. I don't really, but I am being honest here.
I do have seasons and moments of questions, but God is ALWAYS faithful to let me question Him, and He still loves me. He still reassures me, and doesn't get mad or upset with me that I can't always push all of the doubt out of the corners and recesses of my mind all by myself. I need His help. And that doesn't scare God. It doesn't push Him away. Instead it draws us closer to His heart. Which is what I need when my faith falters.
I know I have to remind myself. To remember. To recount. And to communicate with Him. To thank Him. To take the time to ask for help, to seek His face, and to keep knocking instead of giving up, which would be the easiest thing to do. Wish I would have gotten that last one sooner. Maybe I could have instilled that in my children deeper. But He is in the process of doing that for them even now.
Which is why I have Hope, and why I have to trust. I have to. Like the disciples said,
Where else is there to go, but to the Lord? Who else has the words of life to feed my soul?"
And this I do know: I would rather live this way, the way of the faithful, and be wrong, than to live like the devil and be right!
How about you? Do you have seasons or days of doubt? Sometimes I feel like I am the only one, and that I am not a good Christian because of it. But I don't dwell there. I rest in the fact that there was only one perfect Christ. And I, thank God am not Him. So I can doubt, and I can conquer that doubt by being still and knowing the Great I AM. Immanuel. God with us.